Tag Archives: stupid stories

People are strange

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So I work for a radio station now that I have graduated and let me tell you people are strange. I know this isn’t anything revolutionary in any way because with the media the way it is today when people do weird stuff we know about it. That being said I produce a morning show and we use a prep service so when anything happens we get that news within minutes. Its very helpful but one section is called Stupid Stories…and people be weird. But here are some of the most recent ones that where posted.

 

“A 55-year-old football fan had one last jab for his perennially under-performing Cleveland Browns: his dying wish was for players to be his pall bearers, so they “can let him down one last time.”

According to Scott E. Entsminger‘s obituary, which ran Sunday in the Columbus Dispatch, the, “lifelong Cleveland Browns fan and season ticket holder,” passed away on July 4. The memorial says the retired General Motors employee and amateur musician “wrote a song each year and sent it to the Cleveland Browns, as well as [offered] other advice on how to run the team.”

The obituary further reports that Entsminger “respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time.””

 

So that’s true hardcore fandom right there and this guy did have a sense of humor about his own mortality I mean let him down one last time? Well at least he wasn’t a fair weather fan…

 

“A 23-year-old Ohio man wearing Spider-Man underwear was arrested early Sunday for allegedly vandalizing a school. The Cincinnati Enquirer reports Thomas Williamsallegedly smashed the windows of Moeller High School in Hamilton County, then broke into the building, where he’s accused of triggering fire extinguishers and doing other damage.

Despite his outfit, Williams’ Spidey sense must have been on the fritz: cops arrested him shortly after the incident. He’s been charged with felony vandalism.”

 

Spider-man, spider-man no one can do it like Spider-man….well maybe not this one but hey not everyone can be awesome. Since we are on this topic of  Spider-Man have you all seen where they make window cleaners at children’s  hospitals dress up like that to clean the windows? Precious!

 

“A 16-year-old male who wore a Batman hoodie, complete with pointy bat ears and a bat emblem on his chest — but nothing covering his face — has surrendered after cops released video of a recent burglary at the Colorado State Fair.

According to the Pueblo Chieftain, the unidentified suspect was one of a trio who could be seen on surveillance footage of the early Thursday morning break-in at the fair’s VIP building. Cops say the suspects made off with a cash register — which turned out to be empty — as well as TVs and a laptop in the hare-brained heist.

The bumbling burglars apparently managed to lock themselves inside the building after they gained access, requiring them to break out to free themselves, according to authorities.

The newspaper reports the sheriff’s office is seeking to charge the suspect who surrendered with theft, second-degree burglary, and criminal mischief. His accomplices are still at large.”

 

I mean what is with people and the super hero stuff trying to be all villainous? Not cool!

 

“OK, we get it: it’s hot in Death Valley, Nevada. How hot is it? It’s so hot, the National Park Service has taken to Facebook to tell tourists to kindly stop proving it by trying to cook eggs on the pavement.

The post reads, “An employee’s [recent] posting of frying an egg in a pan in Death Valley was intended to demonstrate how hot it can get here, with the recommendation that if you do this, use a pan or tin foil and properly dispose of the contents.”

The miffed missive continues, “The Death Valley NP maintenance crew has been busy cleaning up eggs cracked directly on the sidewalk, including egg cartons and shells strewn across the parking lot…This is your national park, please put trash in the garbage or recycle bins provided and don’t crack eggs on the sidewalk.””

 

Alright I would love to do this! But I would clean up my eggy mess once I was done enjoying the humor of it all!

 

“When a resident in a Clawson, Michigan apartment complex heard loud noises and a female neighbor pleading “Stop! No!”, she called the cops.

Thinking, like the neighbor did, that there was a domestic violence situation at hand, cops rolled to the scene, only to discover something about it smelled funny — literally.

According to WWJ-TV, the loud sounds and the pleading weren’t caused by domestic violence, but by some apparently serious flatulence, to which his girlfriend was objecting.

According to Clawson Police Chief Harry Anderson, the official report noted that the responding officers, “Cleared the scene expeditiously.””

 

Remember the nosy neighbor in Bewitched? I wonder what she would have done…thoughts to ponder…but that had to be embarrassing but at least they had the right thoughts behind it!

 

 

“Texas physical education teacher Dale Irby retired this year after a 40-year career that included wearing the same 1970s-era polyester shirt and coffee-colored sweater-vest for every school photo.

The 63-year-old Irby tells The Dallas Morning News the tradition began as an accident because of a sparse wardrobe decades ago, and when he realized he had worn the same outfit two years in a row on picture day, his wife dared him to do it for a third year.

As the years went on, Irby says he began carrying the disco-era shirt and sweater vest to work at Prestonwood Elementary school outside Dallas and would put it on just long enough for the annual photo.

Irby says the outfit will now spend a quiet retirement in the back of his closet.”

 

Or he could have just used the same picture over and over…but I like it.

 

“A contractor in Arkansas has apparently made two Texas-sized typos on a Florida highway sign: the company misspelled the Sunshine State as “F-L-O-R-D-I-A” — twice.

According to the website First Coast News, the exit sign was destined for J. Turner Butler Boulevard and Interstate 95 when somebody noticed the super-sized gaffes. The Florida Department of Transportation insists the contractor will replace the sign free of charge. ”

 

Hmm spellcheck  is your friend…no seriously it is….

 

“A Florida woman was arrested late Saturday on a charge of battery on a law enforcement officer, but she didn’t use her fists or a weapon — she used her lips. According to WTSP-TV, cops were initially called to the home of 62-year-old Peggy Hill over a dispute with her neighbor regarding a fence.

One responding officer, Sergeant Randy Lambsaid while she was speaking with him, Hill “approached him and kissed him on his nose against his will.” The veteran cop then reportedly “wiped off the saliva from his nose,” then took Hill to the ground with another cop and handcuffed her.

For her part, Hill insists Lamb was aggressive towards her. Perhaps because of three glasses of wine she had, the idea to smooch the cop just “popped into her head.” She remains behind bars in lieu of five thousand dollars’ bond.”

 

I bet this wouldn’t have happened if it was a twenty something blond headed drunk lady…just saying…chill out Sergeant Lamb

 

 

 

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Things that make me wonder about people today…

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Student Busted Exposing Himself in Yearbook

A 16-year-old Chicago high school student is facing a disorderly conduct charge after administrators caught his attempt to expose himself in a yearbook picture.

According to the Chicago Tribune, after the yearbooks were printed last month, Maine South High School superiors noticed the student apparently exposed his genitals through his shorts in a team picture in a way that “appears to be intentional.”

Police took the student into custody May 15 at the school, a police source tells the paper. The school caught the prank before the books were distributed to students, but spent around 14 hundred bucks to cover or remove the picture.

 

Lawyer Arrested After $100K, Hangover-Style Hotel Room Razing Smash

A California lawyer has been arrested for not paying up after allegedly doing nearly 100 thousand dollars in damage to a Las Vegas hotel suite after a night of Hangover-style room trashing.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal reports Los Angeles-based attorney Robert Pearmanwas charged with malicious destruction of property caused in a three-bedroom, nearly six thousand square foot suite at the Encore hotel on March 30.

At least five people were staying in the room with the 45-year-old, who, while apparently drunk, told police officers, “I take full responsibility for what happened here. We were partying.”

The hotel claims the inebriated attorney threatened to, “depose [hotel owner] Steve Wynn, and make this place Napalm,” when his night of fun came to an end.

The hotel claims the 45-year-old never attempted to repay the hotel for the damage done to the room — which included smashed glass, food all over the walls, and more.

 

Hairy Situation: Clerks Assaulted, Pepper Spray, in Hair Heist

A pair of thieves, one female, one male, are wanted for assault and the robbery of cash — and human hair — from a Chicago store. WBBM-TV is airing surveillance video of the crime, in which one suspect was spotted “casing” the Morgan Park beauty store before another rushed the counter. While the male put a gun to the back of one clerk, the female sprang into action, hitting another employee in the throat and spraying her in the face with pepper spray.

In the attack, one of the clerks was knocked unconscious, the male suspect raided the register, and fistfuls of human hair — worth thousands when made into wigs and weaves — were stolen.

 

Kids Tipsy After Restaurant Swapped OJ for Mimosas

Two parents in Rochester, New York, are steamed because their three young children got buzzed when a local restaurant accidentally served them mimosas instead of plain orange juice.

According to WHAM-TV, when the DeRoos family sat down to brunch on Sunday,Jeremy and Dawn‘s kids said their juice “tasted funny,” but the parents didn’t think anything was amiss until they overheard other patrons complaining the juice had champagne in it.

The parents said the kids slept for most of the day and acted “hungover” the day after. The owner of the restaurant eventually apologized, comped the meal, and promised to re-label the juice jugs to avoid a similar mix-up in the future.